HEY. HEY. YEAH, YOU. If anyone is ACTUALLY reading this, comment, you fag. D:< Or I'll be forced to come to the obvious conclusion that NO ONE, in fact, reads this journal.
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Okay. So as of next Sunday... I'm gonna be out of work.
This isn't exactly unexpected, but it is still a little jarring; despite the fact that I loudly told myself (and others) "HAHAH I'M PROBABLY GOING TO BE FIRED SOON ANYWAY WOT EVAAA" every chance I got, it doesn't really do much to take the edge off. I have been very lucky to have had a job these past four months; having that much money at my disposal was very new to me, and also very intoxicating. I've been spending a lot on things that I
want, but definitely don't need. So it's going to be difficult to readjust myself into penny-pinching mode, to say the least.
Beyond that, I'm deeply divided on whether I should feel upset, saddened, angry, panicked, or... relieved? I mean, I feel bummed out over this, absolutely, and I am having a hard time convincing myself that I am
not going to cry no way no how. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little jilted, a little cheated, a little bit used, even though I was NEVER under the impression that this would be a permanent position. I was hired for a seasonal position, I worked hard and did the best I could, I never goofed around on the job (even though my managers often treated me like I did,) and now I'm being let go. It's logical and makes good business sense, but it still stings a bit. FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT is a really attractive option to me right now, since I sort of feel like I'm hanging over the edge of a dark pit of no-food, no-shinies, no-projects, and no-AnimeBoston-trip-with-anime-club, and it's causing me to go OH MY GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO DO OH MY GODDDDDDD in my head.
But despite everything, some part of me is breathing a small sigh of relief. There were good days, sure, and I enjoyed parts of my time working there, but this job has not been all rainbows and sunshine and peaches and strawberries and happiness. It was
damn stressful for me. I think I was justified in feeling miffed that a few of my friends reacted in surprise when I told them that working at a fabric store was not easy.
When you work at a fabric store, the customers expect you to KNOW about sewing, so if you do not sew often, as was the case with me, you need to pick up a lot of information from your environment, and pick it up quickly. You have to know where to find
x,
y, and
z at any given time, and in a store with as many different sections and departments as ours, where stock is shifted around on a constant basis, that can be pretty damn difficult. You
find the fabric the customer is looking for if they're new to the store or too lazy to do it themselves, you cut it to their specifications, you explain to
n customers every single day that
no, we CAN'T cut your fabric into two or more separate pieces for you because it is
against our company policy to do so, and you struggle to keep yourself from sighing and/or rolling your eyes as they either bitch and fume over this or resolutely figure out a way to get around the rule.
You show customers how to read the back of a pattern to see how much yardage they need, you remind GROWN-ASS ADULTS that there are three feet/36 inches in a yard, and you shake your head tiredly as customers express frustration at the fact that you are not going to give them free fabric that they believe they are entitled to for whatever reason. You try your damnedest to herd the customers into a single line, and find yourself explaining, on several memorable occasions, the importance of standing on line, and why it is imperative that EVERYONE do it in order to be served, to customers (who are, I remind you, GROWN-ASS ADULTS.)
Once you are done cutting fabric, you get to put it away. If you don't stay caught up with putting away fabric, it piles up behind the cutting counter, and you are left with twenty, thirty, forty bolts of fabric or more to put away after the store closes. This includes the rolls of home dec fabric and vinyl, which are heavy, ponderous, and cause excruciating pain when dropped on your toe. As you put the fabric back on the shelf where it belongs, you are also expected to tuck, neaten and rearrange ("recover") the fabric that has been pulled, dropped, unraveled, left in the wrong place, and trampled on by customers. (I can only assume that these are the kind of people who visit someone else's house, use the bathroom, and do not flush the toilet afterward.)
You run errands, you do math, you advise and play yes-man. You enter special orders, answer the phone, and climb a step ladder to retrieve fabric from top-stock. You are berated by women who work in real estate, women who have a house in the Florida Keys where their
good sewing machine is, men who are in a goddamn hurry and are not going to wait on line again, women who
know how customer service is SUPPOSED to work and YOU sure aren't doing it right, and old ladies who will swear on their favorite Big Dog t-shirt that they
always used to get the little bit on the end of the yard
free when they shopped at the store years ago, and the girls over in
Ramsey and
Albany still do it that way, pointed look. You put away patterns, IN ORDER, in their assigned drawers, and you painstakingly shift those patterns around when they don't fit into the drawers the way they're supposed to. You run around with a disgusting old broom sweeping up lint, rubber bands, Cheerios, lint, Cheezits, candy, plastic fabric clips, lint, the world's most resilient dust bunnies, fabric samples, candy wrappers, lint, tacks, lint, pins, hair, glitter, fake berries, dust, dead leaves, coffee beans, lint, dead spiders, loose threads, and lint. If you refuse to leave the cutting counter to show a customer where something is, you are chided for failing to provide good customer service. If you lead a customer around practically by the hand and show them everything they need to complete their project, how to find out how much they'll need, what kind of fabric they can use, and try not to scream as they ask you a question that you cannot feasibly answer for what seems like the hundredth time, you will be chided for leaving your post and failing to provide good customer service to those who need fabric cut.
You cut fabric for quilters and seamstresses, high school fashion design students and 4H members, home decorators and guys who need lots and lots of clear plastic vinyl, expectant mothers and self-important mediocre crafters who seem to think that no-sew fleece throws are an extremely original and innovative creation of theirs. You work later than you're scheduled to without a word of thanks. Sometimes, you enjoy yourself.
And then you get fired! :
O
Honestly, I'm
almost glad not to be working there any more, since it'll give me the chance to look for a better job.
Almost.
Filling out job applications is going to suck.
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Teriyaki chicken breast
Low-fat brownie
Microwaved popcorn (< 1 bag)
Candy cane (< 1)
Low-fat brownie
Carrot sticks
Pork with vegetables and carrots
(Yeah, I'm going to start trying to do this shit again.)